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Friday, March 30, 2012

The Onion Daily Dispatch - March 30, 2012

The Onion
Fri Mar 30, 2012

Exhaustive Investigation By Broadcasters Finds Every Player In NCAA Tournament Just A Great Kid 03.30.12

NEW ORLEANS—An intensive monthlong investigation conducted by the color commentators, play-by-play announcers, studio analysts, sideline reporters, and other personnel tasked with televising the 2012 NCAA Men's Basketball Championship tournament con...

News in Brief »

New Walgreens Facebook Plugin Allows Users To See What Prescriptions Friends Are Picking Up

American Voices »

Zimmerman Appears Uninjured In Video

"Perhaps the Sanford police should consider switching to the Canon Legria HF G10, which shoots 1920 by 1080 high-def video with an optional 25p frame rate for a truly cinematic look."

opinion »

Sometimes I Feel Like I'm The Only One Who Gives A Shit About Rich, Lustrous Hair

by Marcus Russo , President and CEO, Pantene

By Marcus Russo, President and CEO, Pantene

Radio News »

Authority Figures Call For Closing Of Area Rough House

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Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19

This is a good time to make big moves at work, as you'll show up Monday to find all the furniture's gone and everyone has relocated to a new office somewhere outside Gary, IN.

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